Classroom Chuckles

Running into one of my students at WhiteWater while I'm wearing a bikini...Yeah, that was awkward. His dad asking, "Where were you when I was a kid?" Yeah, that was even more awkward. Them trying to set me up with their older son the entire time I was waiting in line behind them and trying to hide behind a raft...That was the icing on the awkward cake.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010 11:46 PM

Yesterday, one of my two year-old students explained to me that "The bad kinds of monsters live under mommy's bed. BUT the good kinds of monsters like Lady GaGa, we love those kinds!" Proud of my little ones!

Tuesday, July 06, 2010 3:39 PM

My ninth graders had been reading Romeo and Juliet, and I wanted to review the literary elements as they applied to the play, to review for the final exam. I had covered exposition, rising action, conflict, and had just explained how the climax of a tragedy typically occurs near the end of the work, when a girl raised her hand. "Did Romeo and Juliet have climaxes when they faked their deaths?" she asked. I still don't know how I kept a straight face...

Wednesday, June 30, 2010 8:57 PM

In the early days of my career, my husband and I taught at the same inner-city school. One little girl asked me why me and Mr. C had the same last name. "Is he your brother?" she asked. "No", I told her, "He's my husband." This concept seemed new to her, and she looked puzzled for a minute. Then her face lit up with understanding and she said it "Oh, I get it, you guys do the 'humpity hump!'"

Wednesday, June 30, 2010 5:20 PM

My kindergarten class had finished studying the Pledge of Allegiance, but I still wasn't sure if they understood what it meant. Shortly after, a little boy decided that girls should not be allowed to play with blocks or trucks. I decided to have a class discussion on this issue. After this boy stated his reasons for excluding girls from blocks and trucks, another boy stood up and said "But if we do that, that it wouldn't be Liberty and Justice for All!" Everyone (except the first boy) clapped.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010 5:11 PM

My preschool classes ranged in age from 3-5. One five-year-old boy was especially helpful with the younger students, so I told him that maybe when he grew up, he could become a teacher. He was absolutely horrified and blurted out "I don't want to be a teacher when I grow up, I want to be a MAN!" We had lots of fun teasing the male teachers about that one!

Wednesday, June 30, 2010 4:52 PM

One kindergarten boy complained that another boy had called him a "maniac". The other boy admitted that he had said it. I asked him if he knew what it meant. He said "Sure I do, a maniac is a man who fixes cars!"

Wednesday, June 30, 2010 4:49 PM

One of my second graders asked me, in all seriousness, "Mrs. C, how do you spell 'CD'?"

Wednesday, June 30, 2010 4:44 PM

Twin brothers were playing a flashcard game with my aide. One turned over two cards and said "Darn! They don't match!" His brother elbowed him in the ribs and said "You're supposed to say f*#k!" Of course, when I called their mom, she said she had no idea where he learned that word, since they never talk that way at home.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010 4:41 PM

J. was in the habit of saying "Damn!" whenever he was frustrated. I asked him if he could please say "Darn!" instead. He shook his head and said "No, I can't, because that is a BAD word!"

Wednesday, June 30, 2010 4:39 PM

One of my first grade girls was sobbing on the playground. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me she was crying because her grandpa died. I was overcome with sympathy for the poor child, so I took her inside, wiped her face and got her a drink. I hugged her and gently asked when her grandpa passed away. She replied "Before I was born."

Wednesday, June 30, 2010 4:37 PM

Our school had an awesome custodian who was known for being able to fix anything. One morning, my first grade class discovered that our guinea pig had died. I told them that I was going to call Mr. Murphy to "take care of it." One little girl's eyes got wide as she exclaimed "I didn't know he could fix animals too!"

Wednesday, June 30, 2010 4:34 PM

One morning, I stopped in the office to pick up my paycheck, then I went out to the playground to meet my kindergarten class. One of the first kids in line asked what was in the envelope. I said it was my paycheck, and proceded to lead the line to the classroom. When we arrived, one girl was crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she said "I didn't know you got paid to be with us. I thought you LIKED us."

Wednesday, June 30, 2010 4:02 PM

During journal writing, a second grade girl approached the teacher and asked "How do you spell 'penis'?" The teacher was shocked and asked the girl what she was writing about. The girl said "I am trying to write 'happiness'. I got 'hap', but I don't know how to spell 'penis'!"

Wednesday, June 30, 2010 3:55 PM

Our buses were color-coded to help children find the right bus. One kindergartner looked lost, so I asked her what color her bus was. She said "It's the green bus." Then she leaned over and whispered "They call it the green bus, but it's really YELLOW."

Wednesday, June 30, 2010 1:30 AM

One school where I worked required all laminating to be done by the library aide. I invited one of my preschoolers to go with me to the library to pick up the laminating. As we started to leave the library, he refused to leave. "Where's my lemonade? You said we were going to the library to get LEMONADE!"

Wednesday, June 30, 2010 1:27 AM

Last year, our Language Arts classes were asked to teach a program called "Know the Law," developed as a deterant for wayward behavior in teenagers. During our discussion of the section on unlawful and underage physical abuse, I must have become very stern about the laws regarding sex and intent, because one of my students raised his hand, and in the most serious voice asked,"Well, when can I have sex?"

Monday, June 21, 2010 10:29 PM

I was working with one of my ELL students on his writing. He was supposed to be writing a creative story about the future. As I'm working with him, he looks over at me and asks, "Mrs. Dalum, when you were younger, did you have electricity?" I'm only 25! I laughed so much. He must have thought all of his teachers were ancient!

Friday, June 04, 2010 3:48 PM

I was working with some of my students at my round table when one student says, "Ms. Read, what is your last name?" This child has been in my class for months and clearly just used my last name. I was speechless. Thankfully, another student popped in with "Read, her last name is Read!" The young girl then said "Ohhh, huh." Like that really was news to her.

Thursday, May 13, 2010 10:57 PM

I told one of my students we all need to wear Snuggies because it was a cold, rainy day. He later told another teacher we all need "noogies" in our class.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010 9:54 PM